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    Top 5 Daniel Sloss Quotes & Tour Dates

    Daniel Sloss Australia Tour Tickets 2017

    UK & Australia favourite, Daniel Sloss will be touring Australia as the annual comedy season kicks off. We've collected our top 5 Daniel Sloss jokes for you and some of our favourite clips. Oh, and did we mention that we caught up with the man himself... Check out the full interview with Sloss. 

    Top 5 Daniel Sloss Quotes

     To celebrate the Daniel Sloss Australian tour as part of the nation wide comedy festival, here’s our top five favourite quotes from the Scottish comedian!

    1: “I hate Twilight. For those of you who don’t know what it is, let me briefly explain. You’ve got this guy called Edward Cullen who’s a vampire thing and has the emotional capacity of Keanu Reeves after he’s had a stroke. Then you have Bella Swan who is always miserable. It’s like she’s always on her period, which I can imagine he fucking loves.”

    2: “I had a girlfriend once and we gave each other little nicknames. I was ‘Dan’, short for ‘Daniel’. She was ‘Luc’, because she was a slag.”

    3: Being 19, this means I don’t really have a lot of sex stories. The only ones I have just involve me saying “YES! I HAD SEX! IN YOUR FACE, DAD!”

    4: (talking about the amount of snakes on the roads in Australia) “Snakes have no natural immunity to being run over by cars.”

    5: (regarding other comedians thinking he’s gay) “I can’t really say I’m not gay, because I’ve never tried penis. I’ve only ever played with one penis – mine – and I fucking loved it! I haven’t stopped playing with it since. I like 100% of penises I’ve ever played with, whereas I only liked around 60% of vaginas I’ve been in. So statistically…”

    Daniel Sloss on Russel Howard's Good News

    Daniel Sloss Australian Interview 2017

    daniel sloss sydney comedy festival

    The surly, Scottish King of Comedy, Daniel Sloss is back on Australian shores for two months with appearances at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival and Sydney Comedy festival. Here, we catch up with Daniel before he jets from New York to Australia bringing just his dark sense of humour.

    Hi Daniel. How are you?
    I’m doing good. How are you?

    I’m alright. Friday night nearly.
    Is it? It’s Friday morning here. Or afternoon.

    How’s the weather in New York?
    It’s actually not bad. It was absolutely f**king freezing, the sort of temperature where I lost my sense of humour. But it seems pretty sunny today.

    Daniel Sloss Australian Tour Dates

     Sunday 19th March – Brisbane Comedy Festival, Brisbane Powerhouse, Visy Theatre or 07 3358 8600

    30th March – 21st April – Melbourne International Comedy Festival, Taxi Riverside, Federation Square or 1300 660 013

    Friday 5th May – Perth Comedy Festival, Regal Theatre

    Saturday 6th May – Sydney Comedy Festival, Enmore Theatre or 02 9020 6966

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