If you are looking for an easy divorce, you are doomed for the failure, since divorce is never to be easy. It can be either successful or not. And in both cases, the process is to be tough, requiring decent efforts, if you aim for a happy ending. People of divorce often fidget about financial status, property division, convenient custodial conditions, but they usually neglect physical and mental health. What is more terrible couples in divorce usually have no time for their children during the divorce process, which eventually results in mental traumas, stress, behavioral disorders, and more. Due to this, children of divorce tend to smoke more often than the kids from full families, which was proved by multiple researchers.
The Reasons for Smoking Tendencies
There are multiple triggers that force or tempt kids of divorce smoke, but they all result from improper parents’ behavior during the divorce process. Anyway, your main task is to study the common threats beforehand and use any kind of divorce help to prevent any chances of your children to take up smoking.
- Rebellious behavior – one of the usual reasons for teenage children mostly to start smoking either their parents are in the process of divorce or not is to express their rebel. So, by smoking, they try to show their protest against your divorce.
- Stress-reducer – in most divorce cases kids are unable to cope with the stress and tension they have to go through. If they lack adult assistance and help, children often choose smoking as a stress-reducer, to relax and forget about problems at home.
- Early adults – it often happens that a custodial parent feels and acts helpless after or during the divorce, and children have no choice but to take up the adult role. It may cover some everyday duties, the parents used to perform, wise tips, or even adult habits, such as drinking or smoking.
- Lack of attention – being busy with the divorce, parents often have no time to look after their kids, participate in children’s lives, and pay enough attention to them. It may end in behavioral disorders and bad habits, including smoking. This way kids either try to catch their parents’ attention being problematic ones or feel free and uncared about enough to do whatever they want and go breaking bad, being left unpunished and unnoticed.
How to Prevent and Cope with the Problem
When children of divorce take up smoking it is always their parent’s fault. This means the spouses were unable to organize the divorce process properly and protect their kids from harmful impact.
- Spend more time with children – the easiest and golden rule is to spend more time with your kids, which is really vital more in the process of divorce. If you lack time and cannot cope with the divorce issues, there is always divorce help online you can use to get more time for family healing issues. Talk more to your children, explain they are not guilty in your divorce, find time to listen, and help them with their everyday problems, supply your kids with qualitative leisure, and participate in their lives as actively as you can. This will definitely save you and your children from troubles in the future.
- Don’t involve kids in adult issues – it is vital to keep your children away from your discussions, arguments, and other divorce issues. If your kids are adult enough, you can certainly explain to them the essence and reasons for your divorce, but don’t go into details for sure. More to this, your children shouldn’t become a shoulder to cry on, since it is very selfish and irresponsible to let them carry your burden. The more you involve your children in your divorce fuss, the more stress they receive, which may result in behavioral disorders and bad habits one day.
- Be a good model – when a child loses a connection with one of the parents in result of divorce, he/she tries to be as close with the other parent as possible. That is why you have to do your best to be a good parent and a good example for your child. If you have bad habits, isolate yourself, and are emotionally unstable, don’t wonder about weird behavior of your children.
- Professional help – you need also to remember that in any situation you don’t have to struggle on your own. It is normal and even necessary to search for qualitative and professional help. No matter whether you choose some reliable divorce platform, such as onlinedivorcer.com, cooperate with therapist, or any other good specialist, the thing is that you care about yourself and your children in the process of divorce.
All in all, you should always keep in mind that children are more vulnerable and less stress-resistant than adults. So, when it comes to divorce, one of the most stressful occasions in life, you should be there ready to protect and care about your children. Only putting in some decent efforts, you can save your kids from the most negative impacts of your divorce.
Greg Semmit has years of experience working with different types of legal documents and writing about Family Law for educational purposes. Currently, he is working at OnlineDivorcer company, where he writing blog articles about divorce and divorce cases. In his free time, he likes roaming the streets of New York with his Olympus taking photos of the best spots in the city.