As much as your ex has faults, you still want to get back with him or her, for better or worse. Deep down in your heart, you know you were meant for each other. Your ex might have broken up with you because he or she thinks you are not worth the effort. Everyone has their faults, which is why you broke up. The good news is, you can still get the love of your life back. First, you need to love yourself, and people around you will start loving you, including your ex. Now, there are some more dos and don’ts in this case, so read further to find out more.
1. Sex is not the Way to Get Back
Maybe you think that having sex with your ex will get you two right on track. Having sex with your ex is a risky business as things can get messy. In some cases, it might work for you. For instance, if your ex wants what you want, then the hookup might work in your favor. However, this scenario ends up in tears in most cases.
2. Avoid Negativity on Social Media
People do not like being associated with negativity. Your acquaintances will block you on social media when they start seeing your negative posts. Your friends will avoid you, and they won’t introduce you to new people. Your new friends on social media might be driven away by your negativity. Emotions are highly contagious, and you might pass on your negativity to your friends.
If you are sad, meet-up with your close friends and cry on their shoulders. Otherwise, it is a stupid idea to attract attention by posting negativity on social media.
3. Give your Ex Space
Keeping off might be a hard step, especially if you were the one who was left. However, this is an important step. If you cannot respect your partner’s simple wishes of needing some time and space, you’re not on a good start to make him want to date you again.
Eventually, you will want to reach out. Break the silence once you get more clarity on the relationship. If you were left and had been blaming yourself, only reach out when you stop blaming yourself. In cases where you initiated the breakup, reinstate contact once you are sure that you miss your partner for good reasons, and not out of guilt or boredom.
4. Work on Your Life
The best time to work on yourself is when you are alone. It would be best if you learned to like yourself and make independent decisions. Investing in interesting hobbies and friendships will fill your life with joy, even if the breakup still saddens you. Once you’ve dealt with the fear of being single, you will know if you seriously want your partner back.
If your ex made you feel like you are not worth it, you need to increase your value. Make them feel you are too busy for them because your life is filled with other people who want to be with you. You need your ex to feel that you loved yourself.
5. Assess Whether your Issues are Solvable
Tangible problems can be fixed, for instance, in a case where a partner who took a job in a distant country, both parties can agree on how to manage their relationship. However, if you had tougher disagreements that involve the future or personal values, such as whether you want kids, you are not likely to solve your differences.
6. Approach your Ex
Once you are sure that you want your ex back and know they’re not dating anyone, reach out to them, and express how you are feeling. It will feel awkward, and your motivation to rekindle the relationship should help you further your agenda. Be upfront and honest, and express your interest in wanting to meet up with your partner.
7. Choose a Casual Meet-up Spot
Avoid the temptations to hang out at your favorite bar, which has dimly-lit candles. Instead, an afternoon walk or coffee date is recommended. You do not want to raise the expectations of the meeting. Your meeting spot should not pressurize your partner into staying too long if they feel uncomfortable. Plus, both of you need a sober and open-minded daytime meet-up, to be honest about how you feel.
8. Start by Addressing the Issues
You may be tempted to start by flattering your ex to warm them up. However, it is advisable to start by addressing the issues that led you apart. Both of you need to clarify things and apologize for what you put your partner through.
After you’ve reflected on your time apart, and have built a case for getting back together, start working to rebuild the trust and form deeper bonds. Work on being a better partner and your ex will want to take you back if they see you’re making a real effort to change.