Interview – Dirty Sanchez

FOUR nutters from the former mining towns of South Wales who pride themselves on complete and utter stupidity as well as self-inflicted pain shouldn’t really be successful, wealthy men. But the normal rules don’t apply to the guys from Dirty Sanchez. 

The tattooed, heavy metal loving, skating protagonists Pritchard, Dainton, Joycey and Pancho indulge in various dangerous stunts, profanity and nudity. If Jackass set the bar, the Dirty lads took it and stuck it in places it wasn’t meant to go. Apart from Tom Jones and Joe Calzaghe, they must be amongst the world’s most recognisable Welshmen.

Founding father Lee Dainton spoke to Rob Moore about crazy crowds, football superstars and fans eating their own ear lobes.

 

IMAGINE travelling the world with your best mates just pissing around. Then imagine blagging money off MTV to film five TV series and make a movie. Then imagine selling out theatres the world over. This couldn’t ever happen, could it?

  Well, this is reality for the boys from Dirty Sanchez – or the Sanchez Boys to viewers in America after their name (referring to the fun-filled act of smearing fecal matter under a partner’s nose during sex) was deemed too crude. 

   A carpenter by trade, Dainton himself admits: “We still can’t believe there would be anyone stupid enough to throw money at us to make 30+ TV shows and a film.

  “We’re just hoping the party goes on for a long while yet. It’s the biggest piss-take in history, but surely someone one of these days is going to say ‘Fuck, what have we done’.”

   The guys arrive in Australia this week for their latest live shows and, with people over here not exactly known for being prudish, he can’t wait.   

  “With four complete spastics performing live we will put on a good show, even if we’re just acting like normal. We’ve been banned from 500 clubs in the UK alone, that’s how good we are.

   “The shows we’ve done before in Australia have been amazing. They are the heaviest crowds we’ve ever played to and we can get away with more in front of those crazy bastards. Lots of people in the States don’t expect what they see and are absolutely appalled. But Australia is the only place a crowd has ever intimidated me.”

   So is it the favourite place he has performed?

“That’s hard. We’ve been to the best places in the world.  We fucking love Japan. Some things we did there will give me mental scars forever.

   “We have performed everywhere really, apart from church. We were in a really fashionable American bar once – half the crowd left within two minutes and the other half just stood with jaws dropped. It’s hard to know how people will react when you are sticking a hose up your arse or having an enema while sat on your mate’s face, but generally we get received really well.

   “We are a bit like Marmite – you either love or hate us – but most of the crowds are as mad as us. They are not there to watch Play School.”

But it’s not all shits and giggles for Dainton. He runs a successful skateboarding company as well as producing, directing and editing the shows.

So is it hard to switch his mindset from constantly pissing about to serious business?

  “I’m flat out every day of the week. Being a twat is my release. I was dropped on my head at three months old and can’t turn that switch off. You are who you are. And we’re idiots,” he adds.

   They don’t exactly look like guys who retire home to their pipe, slippers and Financial Times, but are the guys the same off-camera? And do they have moments off-camera which are up there with the best stuff seen on screen?

  “Yeah totally. We need the camera to be on 24/7. Some situations we get into are just funny. The other day we were doing a gig in North Wales and me and Pritchard were fighting all the way from the club to the hotel over a tuna sandwich. “There is some crazy, rough stuff which is never caught on camera. A lot of things have gone too far, but no one has ever been arrested and hospitalisations have been few and far between.”

   With so many unhinged people around the world, I was interested to know if they meet many people out to prove they are more weird, wonderful and extreme than the Dirty boys.

   A disturbed Dainton’s answer wasn’t pretty.

  “People definitely want to show you they are on the same level. We were doing a marathon skate for charity and were in a bar somewhere in Cornwall after we’d finished for the day when a guy turned up with his earlobes in a bag. He said he’d cut them off and was keeping them in a bag until he saw us. So we said something along the lines of ‘why the fuck did you cut your earlobes off’ but before we could finish he started eating them. The loon ate his own fucking ear lobes.”

  Unfortunately there was nothing as extreme as this when the boys did a series of Nike adverts with international football stars Gattuso, Frings, Malouda and Rooney. How did that go? Were the players good blokes or just bemused by it?

Dainton couldn’t have spoke more highly, saying:     “They were all superstar millionaires but totally on our level. Gattuso is a legend and Rooney – what a top guy. He asked for my autograph and then twatted a ball at Pancho’s bollocks.”

  So after meeting aged just 15 and later filming themselves skating and pranking each other for a collection of bootleg videos called Pritchard vs Dainton, the boys still show no signs of sanity – and have just completed their latest TV series.

   “Our new series called Pritchard v Dainton goes back to how we started. I can’t really say too much about it, but I stitched him up big time once by convincing him he’d won 50 grand in a casino in Japan. He took us all out and paid for everything before I told him he’d won jack shit. But he did pay me back by shitting on my face.”

  So out of anyone, dead or alive, who would deviant Dainton most like to perform a stunt with?

  “Dead would be Oliver Reed.  And alive? Maggie Thatcher.  We’d have fun screwing with her.”

And for their next trick? Are there any stunts they haven’t yet done, but would love to do? 

   “Well we don’t sit down and say we are going to cut our toes off and try to re-attach them.

   “Nothing is ever planned and we don’t think too far ahead. If it was pre-meditated and staged we wouldn’t be here now. So who knows,” he adds.

   Whatever they do, feel free to laugh, groan or vomit, but please don’t try this at home.