Amy Winehouse BROKEN HOME
THEY said it would never end, yet the nation’s favourite fairytale romance is finally over.
In a story that is sure to break the hearts of everyone who believes in true love, media darling and moral beacon for family values Amy Winehouse (right) revealed that her 17-month marriage to Blake Fielder-Civil has ended.
In a tear-jerking statement she stammered and slurred: “It’s over. There’s no way back for us now. It was never going to last. We were only together for sex.
“I fancied him like mad, like no-one else I’ve ever known. But it’s not enough, is it?”
Blake was released from jail earlier this month and is currently in drug rehab.
In the meantime, Winehouse has bravely struggled through on her own by looking and talking like a demented bag lady to anyone with a camera.
In a bizarre rant about X Factor judges last week she said Cheryl Cole fancied her, accused Louis Walsh of having no personality and blamed Simon Cowell for everything that’s wrong with the world.
“I mean, he’s the reason that all them hairdressers haven’t taken their pictures out of the window since the 60s,” she moaned, amazingly without a trace of irony.
GOOD VIBRATIONS FOR DAVE
EVER heard a song so good it makes you orgasm?
OK, you may have experienced something similar when you first saw the Call On Me video by Eric Prydz, but now Dave Stewart is taking things a step further.
Stewart, previously famous for not being Annie Lennox in The Eurythmics, is giving away his latest song ‘Let’s Do It Again’
JimmyJane describes the move as “a multifaceted mashup of design, luxury, sex and music.”
Funny, British Balls describes it as a marketing gimmick by an artist who hasn’t written a decent album since the eighties.
Unfortunately for Dave, he has two major problems.
Firstly, the song’s shit, and what’s more the two vibrators in question cost $195 and $2000 – so we can’t see this little ploy working too well.
Still, it gives a new meaning to the phrase ‘working on a solo project’.
FRESH from their trip to Las Vegas to watch Ricky Hatton beat the shit out of Paulie Malignaggi, the Gallagher brothers have stepped into the ring with another Manchester heavyweight – Mick Hucknall.
Whether Hatton will fall foul of the NSPCA for forcing two shaved monkeys to carry his belts to the ring remains to be seen, but in the meantime the beatle-browed brothers have vented their frustration on gingerballs singer Hucknall (right), who recently claimed the pair had made Mancunians a laughing stock.
In a written response to Hucknall in The Sun, Noel wrote: “You still going? The last time I heard of you, Fanta-pants, you were getting slung out of Knebworth for being shit and fat. What you have to say about Manchester and its righteous natives is irrelevant as you are from Warrington.”
Presumably The Sun, left ‘yours sincerely’ off the bottom. Amy Winehouse BROKEN HOME