Review: Crystal Head Vodka

Something strange must have happened the day Crystal Head arrived in my neighbourhood; I’m not normally so popular.

It was not a case of deciding who I’m gonna call – this vodka has a mystical power to make friends appear for a drink.

It is unfair to describe this spirit’s ostentatious container as a bottle. Any drinks cabinet boasting this vodka will immediately become the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

After a glass of Crystal Head on ice I felt beautifully numb – better than numb – I felt epic. But then I tried to stand and found I had no control over my limbs. Since I was at home and didn’t fall into anything sharp, this was an awesome side affect.

Chilled, it has a clear and pure taste. You can almost feel the cold, natural beauty of Newfoundland when you drink it. Though I hadn’t left my living room, I felt I could have been Hemingway, brooding, in a desolate nowhere.

It is practically three times the price of Smirnoff, but you get so much more than a fancy bottle.

Many people grow up on cheap spirits and spend years thinking vodka tastes like paint stripper and must have a good mixer to be tolerable. For a lot of people it is a formula for getting drunk quickly, not a satisfying tipple.

It is impossible to sustain this viewpoint with a drink as quaffable as Crystal Head.

In the words of the Blues Brothers, everybody needs somebody to love, and when the weekend starts you could find yourself staring into the eyes of your Crystal Head (I called mine Jake) thinking ‘I need you, you, you’.

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