Whiter Than White Isle: How To Experience Ibiza As A Grown Up

Having been an Ibiza veteran for the last decade, visiting religiously each year on a pilgrimage to experience sun, sea and soul uplifting house music, I had always come to expect a standard formula from my trips to the White Isle – party until sunrise, see very little daylight, return to the UK paler than departed, mentally and physically in need of a more restful break.

Now, having recently entered my 30s, and still ever keen to include Ibiza on my annual travel itinerary, I returned this year with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. Excitement at spending a week amongst the impossibly high octane glitterati jet set, and trepidation at whether I still had the stamina for arguably the world’s best nightlife. The general consensus amongst our friendship group in previous years had very much been that if you went to bed while it was dark then you had certainly missed out on the Ibiza maxim.

As someone who suffers from FOMO, I can now honestly say that experiencing Ibiza in the daytime at a more civilised pace was by far my most enjoyable trip to date. I had long held the notion that Ibiza would be a place that I could visit my whole life, with future generations of family, new and old friends, suitable for any life stage. The magic of the island is that if you understand the Ibiza spirit, it can be translated across a host of experiences, including into a very grown up, mature glamour. This piece is testament to what the White Isle can offer when you want to kick back and relax (but still in impossibly glamourous settings and surrounded by the beautiful crowd).

We started our trip in style at the Stansted Airport Lounge (£25 for a lounge pass) – truly a treat after queuing round the block through security in peak season. Enter the lift and be whisked from the shop floor to an oasis offering a complimentary open bar including alcohol, filling snacks (we enjoyed a hearty chicken pie, delicious freshly made soup and bread and a selection of muffins and cheeses) – perfect to line the stomach with a late lunch prior to our flight.

Upon arrival on the island, we checked into our hotel in Talamanca, had a quick refresh and turnaround in the room, before heading out for a late supper. Basking in sophisticated cuisine in a high end, leisurely setting and enjoying a meal for its own sake was definitely new to my Ibiza agenda, having spent years waking up at 5pm and going to the local café for a quick British fry up before the next clubbing marathon.

And so it was that we found ourselves dining under the beautiful foliage of Bambuddha. The Bambuddha philosophy has been deliberately unorthodox since its inception, replacing the formal European way of dining with starters and mains, to move towards an Asian sharing plates style, where the food arrives as and when it’s prepared. We began our experience with delicious cocktail concoctions, setting the tone nicely for our arrival on the White Isle. The food journey meanwhile, took us through some stunning fusions – from green papaya salad, to slices of marinated beef, scallops to vast crab and prawn dishes. Our waiter couldn’t have been more attentive to our desire to keep our stomachs light for the night ahead, and kept us pepped up with zingy after dinner cocktails to complement one of the most exciting desserts I have tried – a creamy lime, Yuzu, pineapple and rhubarb creation comprised of citrus, roasted pineapple, tropical yogurt foam and rhubarb jam.

All that was left was for us to visit the in-restaurant shop, stocking a range of stunning, sparkly accessories for the ladies, perfect to pick up a last-minute clutch or heel for an impromptu night out (if only we had that excuse…) A tip if you dine here – go dressy. Whether standing in skyscraper heels for an aperitif at the bar, or dining for several hours, this is a glossy posse crowd.

Time for us to dip into Ibiza’s ever effervescent nightlife – old habits die hard, and our excitement at being amongst the globe’s most serious music lovers nearly got the better of us. Jumping in a taxi, we headed across the island towards the clubbing mecca of Amnesia for their night Together. With Chase & Status, Sub Focus, Netsky and Gotsome in the main room, and the terrace hosted by the legendary Defected In The House, we were in for a treat.

Not wishing to spoil our new found passion for daytime fun, we worked the club quickly, taking in the highlights, before flopping into a return taxi to crash out at the hotel in the early hours. It was a relatively early start the next morning to head over to Playa d’en Bossa for a bit of luxe spa living. Opened in May 2014, Hard Rock Hotel Ibiza is one of the first properties of the chain on European soil. Given the fashionable crowd’s tendency to favour the smaller, agroturismo style of property in Ibiza, the Hard Rock group did well in successfully bringing such a well-established international brand name to the island. The property certainly has its place on the east coast of Ibiza, lending a glamorous vibe from the moment residents and day guests step inside the US style foyer. Reassuringly expensive, the hotel offers a self-contained playground to explore – from its pool scene, various bars and beachfront restaurant, to its rooftop bar (open from 9pm), ‘Rock Suites’ complete with private hot tubs to its spa, a 1,350 square metre glorious temple to relaxation.

We began our spa experience with a 20 minute sampler massage, perfect to relax weary plane and clubbing muscles. Then it was through to the relaxation lounge complete with heated marble beds for a detoxing flavoured tea and fruit snack, before heading into the bright Balearic sunshine for a day snooze on shaded sun loungers surrounding an outdoor pool with water beds and jets to flop into. Bar staff will happily help you retox with the hotel cocktail menu, delivered straight to you poolside. A quiet and central retreat within the property, it makes for a chilled and recuperative experience. When you’ve had enough of the outdoor heat, you can try some indoors amongst the Jacuzzi, sauna and steam room options.

Feeling buoyed and refreshed from our experience, we sampled a light late lunch ocean-side at The Beach Club @ Hard Rock Hotel. Great crowd, great view and great atmosphere. The menu includes a ‘Healthy Corner’ for both food and drinks, including non-alcoholic cocktails, mezze dips, and salads, suitable for the vegetarian lover. Billing itself as ‘Fusing Mediterranean-inspired vibes with legendary Hard Rock electric energy,’ this hotel is one to watch.

In keeping with clubbing open air in daylight hours, our next stop was Ushuaia, neighbour to Hard Rock Hotel. Centring its offering around late afternoon and evening events finishing by midnight, Ushuaia trademarks on being the precursor to Space nightclub, located opposite. Ideal for those who don’t want to write off the next day, it’s a great final pit stop to a full day. One of the great things about this venue is that it works post beach, as the dress code is very much bikinis, kaftans, flip flips and shorts for the boys. Casually dressed clubbers arrive from 5pm onwards, ready to hear the warm up DJ’s before the main acts come on stage daily at 10pm. Playing home to massive names such as Avicii, David Guetta and Armin Van Buuren, the audience bridges the more mainstream clubbers over from San Antonio as well as the more niche interest, keener on the warm up acts.

We arrived later around 9pm when things were already in full swing, walking into Robin Schulz’s classic Prayer in C which was a great start. Axwell & Ingrosso headlined a fierce set, bringing the crowd to various crescendos of pleasure. We ducked out before the hordes just before midnight, looking forward to some R&R back in Talamanca.

Similarly a long-held ambition had been to escape the island and visit Ibiza’s little sister Formentera, but previous trips’ debauchery and strange time-keeping had never lent itself to a full day off island. Not this time. Determined as ever, we were up and boarding a ferry by 11.30am, even making one of the cheaper timed earlier boats (30 euros return including bus ticket). There are various ways of reaching Formentera, including passenger (60 mins), car and fast jet ferries (30 mins) – we chose the slower outbound boat so we could sit on deck and drink in the warm sunshine. As the waves sprayed around us, we sat smugly enjoying our lack of hangovers and rehydrated selves…….

Upon arrival in Formentera we hopped on one of the many inter-island coaches, designed to show travellers six of the island’s tourist spots, including two of its best beaches. We plumped to jump off at stop one, Playa Illetes, and stay put for the rest of the day. What a great decision that turned out to be – aquamarine water awaited, far clearer than Ibiza’s usual shores, and a stretch of white sand coastline more reminiscent of far flung exotic holidays than Europe.

After several hours sunning ourselves it was time for a refresher – with a little exploration, we managed to come across one of Formentera’s most famous restaurants – Juan y Andrea. Established since 1971, and the epitome of barefoot chic, this place attracts the ultimate yachtie set, fresh from their boats – it’s possible to moor up and enjoy the restaurant’s zodiac service to your table, ensuring a stylish arrival. The menu is impossibly high end, offering a range of Mediterranean dishes, fresh seafood, paellas and vast gin and tonics to knock the edge off the afternoon. Later that day, we met a couple of Swiss visitors who had happily spent seven hours (and no doubt a seven figure sum) whiling away the afternoon in this beautiful sandy setting. For those with more of a penchant for a liquid lunch, there is a beach shack bar, where perched on stools you can sample a variety of freshly made cocktails whilst people watching and reading through the free clubbing glossy magazines. A tip for here – wear large designer shades – not only will it make you look like a celebrity, but you will be able to spy on the actual A-list sitting at a neighbouring table.

The next day, we were back on island and ready for more Ibiza action. After a chilled day by the hotel pool, we decided to nip back across to Playa d’en Bossa for an evening meal at Nassau Beach Club – securing a beach front table in the glittering evening, Nassau looked at its best. It was refreshing to sample their varied menu, before heading across the road to Space nightclub for Glitterbox. One of Space’s most glamorous nights – Fatboy Slim, Tensnake, Shapeshifters, John Morales and Mambo Brothers all perform here. Fatboy Slim showed he had no signs of slowing down, mixing to an uplifted crowd until late into the night.

As you can imagine with this line up, old habits die hard, and we allowed ourselves to get lost in the intoxicating mix of clubbers from around the world with one purpose: to pay homage to the best house music around, for now and forever on Ibiza. It was a 6am finish.

The next day was back to our old Ibiza ways, of a late start and late recovery. With the body clock firmly switched into nightlife gear, we managed to squeeze in another venue on our wish-list – LIO Ibiza. Having opened four years ago to huge fanfare and acclaim, LIO is now firmly established on the jet set agenda for those who are looking to splash their hard earned (or otherwise) cash. Offering a mixture of club, restaurant and cabaret, LIO celebrates the drama and exoticism of Ibiza and takes it to a new pique. The backdrop is staggering – multi million pound yachts, the stuff on which dreams and deals are made, line the waterway that the restaurant looks out upon. Those looking to book for dinner can expect a live event, kicking off at around 10.30pm each evening. The restaurant invites you to ‘elegantly mischievous nights’ and seemed best experienced in a mixed group, with a number of clientele falling into the smartly dressed gent accompanied by towering arm candy category.

LIO’s location in the marina of Ibiza town is amongst some of the newest high end openings of recent years, including Cipriani and Cavalli’s restaurant. To reach the venue, diners need to saunter past the loveliest of moored boats and shops including Stella McCartney for a last minute accessory purchase. For those whose budgets are slightly tighter, as long as you are on the guest-list there is no entry price to get into the venue, and there are two standing room only bars where guests can hover in their heels and still drink in the show. Perhaps avoid ordering the mocktails as we did though – they are served in paper bags (almost dunce style) and cost 23 euros each (!). After 1am the spectacle turns into a nightclub, and with a whole side of the venue open air, this is truly Ibiza at its most lavish.

After such a scintillating evening, we were happy to continue in a sophisticated vein, and booked a blowdry with the gorgeous team at Blowout, who offer hair and make up to the jet set. The team offers mobile appointments or you can visit their pop up at hotel Midjourn in Playa d’En Bossa. Having chosen our makeup styles and chosen blowdry from 12 cutting edge looks, we settled back and enjoyed being pampered for an hour or two, listening to the sounds of Jamie Jones on the stereo. Hair done, we felt like glamour pusses and were ready for a suitably high octane evening.

After this we chose a late supper the next evening at Las Dos Lunas restaurant, boutique and bar. Located conveniently on the road between Amnesia and Privilege nightclubs, this venue provides rustic charm and an enchanting evening in its own right. One of the first Italian restaurants to have existed in Ibiza, Las Dos Lunas opened its doors in 1981 and was one of the iconic places to be during the Ibiza 1980’s heyday, with the clientele able to expect to rub shoulders with the likes of Freddie Mercury and Frank Zappa. Dining in a terracotta finca amongst foliage and modern art, our waiters very thoughtfully provided pashminas for us to take the chill off the late evening air. Sister boutiques located opposite each other at the front of the restaurant stock wafting chiffon, glossy bags and bohemian jewellery, and provide a fun distraction in between courses.

The menu is comprised of some island specialities, and takes the form of a traditional Italian series of courses – antipasti and salads, followed by pasta and risotto before secondi – meats and fish. Our appetites somewhat smaller than this, we were content with a primi course each – scallops and a delicious homemade ribbon pasta dish pappardelle al telefono – followed by the obligatory dessert, in our case a delicious mousse with two different types of chocolate, and a tiramisu. All in all, a lovely antidote to the high octane temperament offered elsewhere on the island, and a ridiculously romantic spot for couples enjoying the island.

We spent our penultimate night on the island back in Amnesia, only a couple of minutes’ walk away, for the legendary gay night La Troya – feeling blissed out after our dinner a deux, we managed only to pop in to catch DJ Fresh’s set before quitting for a (relatively) tame night.

Time for our final day on the island. Wanting to make the most of it, we hired a car locally and set off to explore the remaining parts of our agenda. Driving north first, we stopped in Sant Joan where down a winding track you come across Atzaro, a luxury agroturismo concept. With a mantra of “Celebrating Life”, and built on an orange farm, this is the place to come to ultimately chill out, eat nourishing food, and feed the spirit. Boasting extravagant gardens and being totally in harmony with nature, it would be a stylish place to snuggle up out of season when you are in need of a retreat from the world.

It was time for our next pit stop… Located in Santa Eulalia Marina on the mid-east coast of Ibiza, the five star Aguas De Ibiza Hotel, Lifestyle & Spa is an oasis of serenity and bling. We were booked into their Clarins Spa, at 1,800 square metres, the island’s largest. A temple of tranquillity, the space reminded me of Swiss spas I have visited, with its greys and white undertones, and clinical (in a good way) feel. After enjoying a deep tissue half hour massage, at which the therapist did her best to unknot the tension I had carried from the UK with me, we were given huge Terry Towelling bath robes to snuggle up in.

The beautiful waterfall noise backdrop was more than I could manage, so passed out for a deep power nap on one on the indoor beds before completing a couple of circuits of what the rest of the spa had to offer. From rain showers blowing hot and cold water simultaneously, to a hot steam room, to a (very) hot hammam, and from an excellent sauna to plunge pool, two rounds of this circuit have markedly improved my circulation for a week now. The spa’s signature experience has to be its feng shui pool, which is designed to move through its different jets to stimulate and relax different muscle tensions.

All holistic treatments are based on natural local products. The centre also offers detox programs based on combinations of organic juices and the most innovative treatments to help with weight loss.

With plenty of indoor and outdoor relaxation spaces, and a selection of delicious hot teas and fruit to try, it’s certainly a space that you could happily while away a lazy morning or afternoon which actually results in some lasting goodness, and plenty of couples seemed to be doing so.

On our trail back from the north of the island to Talamanca, we made a small and last stop at The Harbour Club, a beautiful, high end beach club which opened in 2013. An all-day destination, the space was a fitting end to our tribute to day time Ibiza, and we even managed to avoid alcohol on our final night. It doesn’t get better behaved than that.

We left Ibiza feeling holier than thou from our new found White Isle experience.

For accommodation options, try Chic Ibiza Villas who have a stunning range of beautiful villa options. Fly direct to Ibiza from around £143 this September, searching on travel site momondo.co.uk. (Price true as of 27th August 2015)

Words by Leila Stocker and Jo Hartley