England Rugby Jokes

1. With the Rugby World Cup in full swing, it’s only right to kick-off with this…

2. But to be fair, Wales have been training hard for their difficult matches against England and Australia.

3. Ireland will be hoping to get past the quarter-finals for the first time in World Cup history this year.

4. You’ll always hear a fair few rugby puns during a major tournament…

5. Or perhaps not enough.

6. Anyway, probably time to wrap it up now, because…

8. The Welsh team is playing England and just before kick-off Leigh Halfpenny slips, pulls a muscle and can’t play.

Wales coach Warren Gatland is so desperate as there aren’t any other full-backs in Wales and is forced to play a goose (it’s OK, it wasn’t a French-based goose without international release).

Rather surprisingly the goose has a brilliant first half. One minute it’s clearing off its own line and making cover tackles, the next it’s joined the line linking up perfectly with the backs. At half time Gatland is very pleased and everyone runs back onto the pitch for the second half.

On the way the ref starts chatting with the goose. “Great first half goose, you must be really fit”. “Thanks”, replied the goose, “I try to keep myself fit but its difficult finding the time so I try to do an hour in the gym each morning before work”.

“What do you do then?” asked the ref. “I’m a chartered accountant” replies the goose.

At which point the ref immediately brandishes the red card and sends the goose off. The bemused team mates gather round the ref and start complaining.

“Sorry lads”, says the ref, “I had no choice. Professional fowl”.

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