As Rugby World Cup fever sweeps the globe, here are 20 of the best rugby jokes to keep you smiling.
1 Why was the rugby player upset on their birthday? They got a red card!
2. Where’s the best place in America to shop for a rugby kit? New Jersey!
4. Why did Cinderella get kicked off the rugby team? Because she kept running away from the ball!
5. Why don’t grasshoppers watch rugby? They prefer cricket!
6. Have you heard about the new Scotland Bra? It has a lot of support but no cups!
7. Who scored the most tries in the Greek Mythology League? The centaur!
8. What did the rugby coach do when the pitch became flooded? He sent on his subs.
9. My partner just split up with me because they think I’m obsessed with rugby. I’m a bit gutted about it – we’d been going out for three seasons.
10. During the 2015 Rugby World Cup, the England team visited an orphanage. “It was heart-breaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,” said Joe, age 6.
11. What ship holds 12 rugby teams but only one leaves it each season? The Premier-ship!
12. What tea do rugby stars drink? Penal-tea!
13. Why aren’t rugby stadiums built in outer space? Because there is no atmosphere!
14. What do you call a Welshman in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A referee!
15. Warren Gatland takes Wales out for training and tells everyone to assume their normal position. So they all go and stand behind the goalposts and wait for the conversion.
16. Snow White was returning from town to the cottage in the forest where she lived with the 7 dwarfs. In the distance she could see smoke, then as she got nearer she realised that her cottage had burnt down. Frantically, Snow White searched the forest for the dwarfs, then she heard a lone voice saying, “Scotland for the World Cup, Scotland for the World Cup, Wales for the World Cup.”
On hearing this chant, Snow White gave a gasp of relief as she knew that at least Dopey was safe.
17. There’s a fine line between success and failure in international rugby. It’s called Hadrian’s wall.
18. Once you’ve seen one rugby joke, you’ve seen a maul.
19. I had a go at rugby the other day …I thought I was doing pretty well but all everyone kept saying was, “Nice try,”… Condescending bastards.
20. Two Tongans, two Fijians, and a Samoan walk into a bar.
The barman says, well done on your selection for the All Blacks Rugby World Squad Cup, lads.
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