EUR HAVING A LAUGH ANDREW

BLOODY hell it’s not that time of year again is it?
Apparently Eurovision is just around the corner and the singer selected to embarrass the nation this year is Jade Ewen who will sing the Andrew Lloyd Webber (pictured) composed song ‘My Time’.
After listening to it, we’re not surprised in the slightest that bookies have given it favourable odds of 16-1 to get nul points.
Face-melted composer Lloyd Webber thinks differently though and claims Britain can win the competition if we take it seriously for once.
Clearly he’s missed the whole point of Eurovision.

GIMME OSAMA THAT CASH

LOOKS like Osama has been up to his old brainwashing tricks again.
It’s not cheeky Tora Bora terror lord Osama Bin Laden, we’re talking about this time though, it’s Osama Lutfi the former manager of Britney Spears.
Loony Lutfi is suing fit Brit and her potty parents for libel and defamation after they accused him of drugging the saucy singer to maintain power over her crackers career.
Meanwhile, scantily-clad Spears has obtained a restraining order against huffy Lufti on the grounds that he has been trying to “disrupt” the conservatorship she has been under which gives her dippy dad control of her affairs.
In the suit, loser Lufti is also seeking unspecified damages based on an oral agreement he claims to have made with sexy Spears to remain her manager for four years and receive 15 per cent of her earnings.
Frankly, if we’d had an ‘oral agreement’ off Britney we’d be happy with what we’d got.

 

• DESPITE the fact she’s so fat she beeps when she walks backwards, Adele (right) has been picked as a model for fashion bible Vogue.
US editor Anna Wintour has enlisted the London lard-arse – up for four Grammys – to shoot a spread with top snapper Annie Leibovitz.
Adele said: “I’m getting my boobs out and everything.”
Sounds like you’ll need a huge wide-angle lens Annie.

• FIT nutjob Lady GaGa has teamed up with knobhead producer Mark Ronson to record two new tracks.
The foxy oddball spent time in the studio with the style-over-substance king when her tour with the Pussycat Dolls headed to London this week.
A source said: “They worked on a couple of tracks which have a vintage feel.”
In other words, one-trick pony Ronson’s put a load of fucking trumpets on them.